A BEGINNER’S GUIDE TO DATING A MALE MODEL
They’re taller than you. They’re thinner than you. And they’re most probably prettier than you. Yet you still want to date a model. It’s ok… I’ve been there… you’re going to need all the help you can get.
Models get free clothes. Lots of fucking nice free clothes. It’s just a fact we all have to accept. And the whole ‘wearing your boyfriend’s shirt’ thing won’t be cute because you will never look as good in it as they do. Or probably fit into it in the first place. Tragic.
Catwalk shows are LONG. They normally can’t get you a front row seat. And seriously – it’s totally not worth the several hours of sitting around to watch your boyfriend walk on wearing stupid clothes. Strut towards you with an expression like someone’s just taken a massive shit in the middle of the floor… then walk away again. Take my advice… go see a movie instead and just pretend you were there.
Models get invited to parties. And lots of them. With their model friends. With free drinks. If you’re “lucky” enough to get an invite (most of the time you won’t) you’ll end up standing next to a group of very good looking people feeling like a short fat loser while they discuss their top 5 ‘when I saw myself in a mirror’ moments. Fun!
Beware. Models can get paid like $100s of dollars for putting on nice clothes and standing around for a bit looking pretty for a few hours. This – when you work 40 hour weeks and get paid next-to-nothing – will begin to grate on you.
Your boyfriend will constantly be surrounded by tall, beautiful women. Who probably will not be wearing many clothes. It’ll intimidate the fuck out of you. But remember – he’s with you. And your breasts are probably a lot bigger than any model he sees. But if you have body issues, dating models is probably not for you.
Make sure your new model man informs you of anything slightly racy before it gets published. Otherwise, you’ll be innocently flicking through your favourite glossy magazine, minding your own business, drinking your cup of coffee… only to spit it out all over the place when you turn the page and see your half naked boyfriend with his body and lips pushed up against a half naked lady model. It’s not easy to look at in any case. But the worst when you’re not expecting it.
Male models are humans too. They aren’t as perfect as you think. They probably don’t feel very perfect all the time. Like all of us if they feel insecure they’ll need comforting. If they feel sad they’ll need cheering up. And if they’re being an asshole they’ll need a big fat slap. Models are just people. So treat them like you would anyone else.